I've gotten attached to my nieces and nephews and I'm having mixed emotions about watching grow more distant.

2021.12.02 06:06 crymeafcknriver I've gotten attached to my nieces and nephews and I'm having mixed emotions about watching grow more distant.

I've gotten attached to my niece and nephew.
At first, I didn't really care for them much at all. They were just kids I would see during family reunions. I'd wave hi to them when they were too shy to come out from behind their parents and give them a pat on the head once they feel adventurous enough to get near you.
Over the last few years, I've gotten to know them better, watch them grow, and gradually started to feel very close to them. Despite seeing each other only a few times a year at most, I became their favorite uncle and I gradually became more and more invested in them. It made me feel special to get a call from them all the time and made me feel much closer to this entire side of my family too.
I'm so used to facing problem after problem and talking to adults with a hidden agenda as part of daily life that it became my normal... but that's not the case with kids at all. When you get calls from these little kids, you KNOW all they have in mind is "Let's talk, let's play!". Knowing that and spending my free time with them helps me let go, and it's SUCH a huge stress relief. No hassle, no drama, just relaxed fun I could count as "spending time with family." Hell, I used to make fun of Roblox, but after these damn kids became part of my life, I somehow found myself playing Roblox every night. And I enjoyed every second of it. I love sharing this time with them and being able to watch them grow and overcome challenges they kept saying they "can't do" even if it's in the context of a game. I love just spending time talking to them about whatever they feel like talking about. I love feeling like they value me when they hardly even see me.
You can probably already tell what I didn't realize until recently - I've grown a little TOO attached, to the point that I think it's unhealthy. They're at the age where they're making friends they're choosing to call them over me more and more often. I've watched them grow all these years and I'm happy to see them make good friends and that their social development is normal. They SHOULD be branching out, seeing more of the world, and slowly spending more time with friends and a bit less with family. Still, I can't help feeling a little sad at the same time; I'm going to be a smaller and smaller part of their lives and the happy little routine I've gotten used to is going to go away. I'll feel more distant from these kids, and by extension from this side of the family.
It's already starting to feel a bit lonely.
I'm happy that I got to spend this period of their life with them and that I was special to them at least in this period of time. But man, I wish it lasted longer. I feel guilty even thinking this because I know growing up is normal. I WANT to watch them grow. Watching them grow is one of the reasons why I loved spending time with them. I feel like having these thoughts will somehow hold them back... but man I wish this lasted longer.
I can't really talk about this with anyone else since I think it almost feels weird to feel this close to my niece and nephew. They're not even my kids and it almost feels like they're leaving for college or some shit. It's ridiculous. I didn't even raise them. This is crazy.
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2021.12.02 06:06 uhuhcool I(17f) am confused if he(17m) will ever like me or should I just stop trying???

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